I have received really positive feedback from family and friends regarding the 2nd edit of our film which has been really encouraging. We have taken on board the feedback and suggestions and made some changes to the film accordingly.
Some of the comments:
- Thought provoking
- I am now wondering about the characters lives
- Engaging and beautifully filmed
- I liked the camera being paced at sea level at the end after being on the cliff top for most of the film
- Thoughtfully shot
- Nicely edited
- Makes me think of the poor souls who didn’t step back from the edge
- Outstanding in it’s precision, concise, considered dialogue, tight cropped shooting and underplayed acting
- Just the ambient sound is enough – music would take from the mood of the film
- Atmospheric and brilliantly shot
- Was she an angel?
- I would have liked to see him walk towards the edge of the cliff
- Very good dialogue
- Creative photography
- Allow a third player more into the tale….. the location
: ocean, rocks, ceaseless motion and erosion, harshness in balance with beguiling tranquillity, the pure anonymity and elemental force of nature. A relentless, unthinking allure, tempting to merge, destroy and eliminate the pain of regret, yearning, ambition, disappointment. Nature just IS. Submission to nature is one of Eli’s two options. I think we should see that force impinging on his thoughts, breaking them, over riding them at times. Cut (or cross fade) from Eli to the forces drawing him in?
- That would speed the pace, switching between opposing forces, perhaps even the woman’s voice over the nature shots to convey even more confusion and turmoil? We need to feel that Eli really is torn, from one moment to another and his impulse to leap is overpowering. Use him as voiceover more often against the shots of rocks, pools, breakers, gulls, crabs, detritus?
- Soundtrack? Use the sounds of nature as you already have but perhaps more intrusive in the moments of non dialogue …. gulls, wind, surf, pebbles rolled on the beach, the crackle of dry seaweed, creatures feeding and recycling what they find, dead fish, bones, empty shells? The minutiae of shore life (and death)
- Perhaps shorts snippets of music to be during Eli’s remembrances, distant and subtle mixed into the surrounding sounds?